Upcoming Elections

As most of you are probably well aware, Canada is in midst of a federal election campaign. On May 2 (I hope that all voter-age) Canadians will go to the polls and vote for who they want to govern this nation. And ever since the election was called my heart has been heavy with prayer.

At the beginning, I felt that Canada hangs in the balance and God is waiting to hear what His people want for this country and what Canadians want for this country. This moved me into urgent prayer as I realized that if we as God's children don't cry out for God's hand to move, He may not move His hand and intervene for the benefit of all Canadians. I have spent many hours crying out that God would hear and answer our prayers even if it's only a small remnant that is crying out to Him. Alongside this urgency for awakened brothers and sisters, I felt that Canada hangs in the balance--that things could go God's way or the highway. I did not understand this at first, but I think this is beginning to become clearer now; I'll explain that a bit later.

So throughout this month I have been praying for Canada, both on my own time and joining in with others. There are a few ministries that have been labouring each week, seeking to hear God's Voice on prayer points that we as a nation can focus on in prayer. I have found that these seem to be piercing to the heart of different matters. And it has been amazing to watch things shift in the natural in answer to our prayers. But yesterday I found myself discouraged and losing hope.

I see such potential for things to go the wrong way in government: maybe there is a potential to lose various freedoms we have; it is possible that with a change in government, current policies and other things that have been started or set in place may be disrupted or halted altogether (like ground made in human trafficking or relations established with other countries); perhaps the sense of justice that is rising up would be all but completely quenched; I fear that a strong backbone in the economy that has been established in the last couple years may be shaken....but all these (I will say) fears aside, it comes down to us going God's way or the highway. And up until last night, I feared that the 'highway' in this phrase meant that Canada would be lost to ungodly policies that would strip away our freedoms (of religion and speech) and set up strongholds for the enemy--in short, that we would be taking the easy route of supporting policies that seem good and helpful, but in the end lead to the death of things that are actually good and righteous. In my mind, the implications of this would lead to a time of great difficulty for many Canadians. And this may yet be, I don't know. But my mind has been turned from dark fears to hope as I now understand that God will bring out His purpose by whatever route we go on--though one may be more difficult than the other.

On a conference call last night, a lady had a word for Canada: the destiny that God has declared for this nation will be brought about. (I will not get into the details of Canada's destiny here, as that would take too long, but you can research it yourself.) I was reminded of many verses in Isaiah where God clearly states that He will bring about everything that He has set out do (Isaiah, 9:7, 46: 10-11, 55:11). I was so encouraged!!! My prayers and those of all the Christians that have gone up to the Lord are not only being heard! They are being answered!

Last week on Tuesday I was with a group of people who were praying for Canada. While praying I had a picture from the Lord. At first my it was like my spiritual senses were expanded and I could see all of Canada at once--both from a distance and right up close. I felt, and saw, hundreds of Christians praying for Canada. I knew in that moment that God had connected all of us--we were all praying as one for the same purpose. I then began to see hundreds of strands reaching and moving--no rushing--from each province into the middle of the country and surging upwards into heaven. It was like the strands were alive. As I watched them surge upwards I saw that the strands were being merged together and were solidified into a solid, sturdy and gleaming white pillar that stood in the centre of Canada.

It is encouraging to know that the prayers being lifted up are being led by God's Spirit and are establishing a strong pillar of God's Word, righteousness, and will in this land. Now I pray with hope and encouragement!

Follow-up

Soooo, literally the day after my last post God opened doors for me! I am now going home on March 28th!! My mom and sister are able to throw me the shower that they wanted to put on for me. My closest women friends--and church community--from the time I was in Kindergarten (literally) all the way up to now have been invited. I don't know the confirmed list yet, but I made sure that everyone was on the list. Yes, it may be a shower, but more than that I want to fellowship with the people whom I really care about and who have impacted me so much. And the reality is that everyone who I told my sister to invite have had a huge impact on my life. I am so thankful!

And I get to go dress shopping with my bridal party for their dresses. And I get to hang out with my family and one of my nieces! And I get the opportunity to see some of my cousins! I find it interesting God didn't lead me to pray for something unattainable. In fact, I believe that He had this planned and was leading me to pray for a blessing that He had waiting for me!

I am so thankful and happy that my heart is filled with tears--of healing and of joy. Thank you, Lord, for your love and faithfulness. Your mercy is not only new everyday; it endures forever!

God's reply to yesterday's rant.

So after my rant yesterday I actually felt that I could pray about the issue. Up until yesterday I felt that it was somehow wrong for me to ask God for a miracle or to ask Him to bless me regarding all this. I also didn't have the faith to ask for anything anyway. Buutt, after yesterday I not only felt like I could ask, I felt like I should ask.

So since yesterday I've been praying for God to somehow get me home by the end of the month and for some cash so that I can start looking for a dress (and even shop with my family!). It's nice to feel released to pray about this issue.

I shall keep you apprised!

Yay God!

rant

So here's the thing: I'm frustrated and sort of feel like a failure.

My hands are still tied financially. I can't get ahead. I work and it's just enough to pay bills: barely. I can't save up any money at all! And I desperately need money for a dress! And for all the little things that need to get done! Like invitations, pictures, etc. *sob*

Both of my bridesmaids are in Sk and Ab. I want to go shopping with my bridal party! I want to have fun with them! I want to have the fun dress shopping experience that brides are supposed to have! And, to be honest, I just don't think it's going to happen. Is that so much to ask? Is it so much to ask to go out to either province and go shopping with them?!? I want to ask God for the crazy amount of money I need to be able to buy a dress for myself and go shopping with my bridal party to help them find dresses. And yet I feel like I can't or that I shouldn't ask. I desperately want a miracle but feel like it's wrong for me to ask. And even if I do ask it won't be there anyway.

*sigh* I don't know what to do!! There's nothing I can do. I try to be excited about getting married but this whole no money thing is like an evil shadow lurking in the background. And I hate it when people ask me how the plans are going or if I found the dress. It just highlights to me the lack I have. And it's frustrating to talk about--and I've learned that I shouldn't talk about it to other people cause my feelings somehow transfer to them and then I have to apologize for being a downer.

And Helena's gonna be Edmonton on the 30th of this month and we both hoped I would have some money set aside in the event that she was going to make it out there. But of course I don't have the money!!!!!! >_< So now my bridal party may have to go shopping for a dress without me. How sad is that?!?

I needed to rant. I have no hope in this matter; and it hurts.

Now I'm going to go and try and pray about it. If there is hope to be found, it is going to be there.

Update: Career vs. Kingdom of God

So I've decided to do a series of posts updating on my life in the past few months. They will be in no particular order but it will be good to dialogue about them and to remember what God has done! :)

I really don't know where to begin...there is so much in my heart that God has been speaking and doing that I just want to share it with the whole world! And yet I have no idea where to even start...I can say that He has literally turned my life upside down and inside out...and outside in.

In January after the engagement (I'm getting married!! To such an amazing man of God! I'm so excited ^_^ And blessed!) my life was...uncertain. Prakash had found us a new place that he was moving into on Feb. 1st. So I was helping him get everything moved and cleaned while looking for a job at the same time. It was looking for a job that was a catalyst to God pouring out revelation and leading me into a life that is actually a relationship with Him.

I tried to be diligent in seeking a job; applying for everything, doing as much applying as I could, trying not be lazy, etc. But my heart was so fearful! I had no rent for the 1st of Feb and no grocery money...and every time I went to God He spoke the same things to me: Seek ye first the kingdom of God and His righteousness and all these things will be added to you; those who wait upon the Lord will renew their strength. So I sought Him for what to do and all He said was wait! At times I really lost it but I knew that He was leading me to living a life that actually was having faith in Him. And as I chose to just sit with Him in Presence and worship and/or pray He began to move in my life...

So...I was talking to my sister one day about frustrations about not having a job and that I didn't know where to apply anymore and she said that maybe what God has for me is working with kids again. And that resonated so deep that I knew I had to try. There's a before and after-school program (WCASS) in New West that my roommate used to work at and she's told me about that job several times. But I tried applying for it in December and it just never happened. But I thought I'd try it again--and this time there was so much favour in the whole process! I called and was immediately transferred to the program head. I was asked to get a resume and cover letter to him by the end of the day and I would get a call by the end of the next week! It was all very exciting and I knew it was God.

But then I didn't get a call the following week. I didn't know what to do! I thought I had felt that this was the job from God but now the evidence didn't seem to be adding up. And yet I felt disobedient every time I would try applying for other jobs. The period of waiting for a phone call was a very long time....and in that time I suddenly had 3 different companies call me and ask to come in for an interview (almost a whole month after I applied for them). So I obliged but felt that all of them were wrong. And then WCASS called! I then had to sift out other jobs and trust in what I thought God had spoken to me about this job.

After my interview with WCASS there was again silence from them for a long time. But I woke up one morning and a very clear thought in my head 'I got the job'. But because I had no call from WCASS it was such a struggle for me to believe that and hold on to it. My financial situation really left me struggling and frustrated. (Although God covered me for Feb. and Mar. rent long before this I still didn't completely trust that He would come through for bills *rolls eyes* and I still struggle.) Not only that, but I also needed (and still do) to get a wedding dress and I wanted (and still do) to go home to dress shopping with my family and there was nothing in my bank account that would allow for any of that (aaand there still isn't ;P). Needless to say, I was a crying, temper tantrum throwing, selfish little brat at that time thinking about all of my woes. I was really ridiculous. But, I was still seeking God.

When finally I accepted that I was supposed to wait on God I then asked Him what I was supposed to do in the waiting. He said to seek Him. And when I sought Him, He said to wait and get to know Him. So I spent a lot of time sitting in the Presence of God worshiping, praying, resting, etc. Those times really gave me the strength to keep asking God and seeking Him when everything seemed to be taking too long...like getting this job. In the days following His Word tome that I got the job I really sought Him about it. I received a prophetic word from a lady that was praying for me at the Tri-City Healing Rooms. She just started prophesying to me about this job! About the things that God would do and my part in all of them! But still I was wary...after all, I still didn't have 'concrete' evidence about the job. But then as I was wrestling with Him one last time about the job He spoke very plainly to me:

• this job is not about you; it's about honouring God and doing the work that He has set out for you
• So when the worries of this world come to choke you out, remember that you are called for a destiny and purpose. And that destiny and purpose is what you are to live for!
• Wherever the Lord is leading you, do not look to the right or to the left. Keep your eye on the mark.
• I am called for the purpose of serving God, for the purpose of His Kingdom. Thus, it's not about my career, or money, or making a way for me (i.e., to be financially stable).
• I woke up last Tuesday and clearly 'heard' in my mind: I got the job. Even if you do not get this job your waiting is important. It is building you up, it is strengthening you, it is teaching you to rely on Him
• I get the sense right now that the Lord is so pleased with simple faith; He just smiles at the child who is placing faith in Him
• The declaration that rose up in my heart: God, everything I need is you!

That little session of listening to God made it clear to me that God was giving me a choice. He was giving me the choice between pursuing a career and being financially stable or following Him and walking in His purpose and destiny for me. I have spoke about destiny, I often intercede for others about their destiny, but God was making it real. If I really wanted what He wanted I had to understand what I was getting into: not money; not a career; not even my desires. I was getting into Kingdom work.

So now that I have the job every shift is in His hands (it's a casual position so I get called in when He wants me to). And where I go is in His hands. Now I just need to seek out what to do when I'm there! What does everything He spoke to me about my part in this school system look like in action?

There is nothing I would not do for you. I even died for you. I died so that I could tell the world and all the evil forces of this world that you are mine. See Me there on the cross!! I did it for you! My wounds bled so that I could heal yours! My heart broke so that I could hold yours! When I was dying I was thinking of you…I was thinking of the joy I would have with you in my arms; with all my children with Me. Death could not hold me and I rose again so that with me you would have real life. Life that is eternal! So please come to me. Let me in to your heart…I AM knocking.

I AM knocking.

Essence of Love

Love does not dwell on rejection
It does not falter when abused
Used

Love does not fear
It does not withhold affection when despised
Discoloured with lies

Love is not conditional
It does not waiver when everything is misconstrued
In a feud

It knows the truth
And does not fail in a moment of imprudence
Decadence

Love does not consider self
Though it feels, experiences, needs and desires
It does not waiver
It considers in favour

It is not selfish
It always hopes, always trusts, always perserveres

Having the essence of Love indwelling
Makes the action of Love unending

Love is faithful

Love is faithful

Kathleen Peters
December 9, 2010